Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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