a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
