Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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