Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Randomize
