what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
