The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
