So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize