I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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