They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
