Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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