i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize