He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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