i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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