I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
