So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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