don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
wow bdsm is so cute
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
