im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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