I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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