Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize