i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
