The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
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The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
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I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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