I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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