He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
