yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
