Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
