tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
