Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
