do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
