Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
