Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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