I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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