These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
