Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
