member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
