worst night to have a conscience
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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