I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
