Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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