apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize