there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
