sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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