I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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