mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize