He disabled his match.com account in front of me
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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