guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We're too hungover to prance.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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