There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I stole a fireplace last night.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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