Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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