Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
