Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
