i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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