i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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