could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
