and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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