You're so nebulous sometimes
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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