If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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