i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This baby is an asshole
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
