I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
