I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize