Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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