I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
