he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
