My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the day after is always just damage control
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
