i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
