you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
