Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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