The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
